Today we are going to chat about a sticky subject….
We hope that you have (or get) amazing in-laws. We really, really do!! But the truth is, no matter how amazing your in-laws are… there are bound to be some sticky situations and/or overstepped boundaries at some point, so we wanted to share a few thoughts to try and keep everyone happy.
Image: Kristen Wynn Photography
You said it…. With This Ring, I Thee Wed.
You did not marry your in-laws… you married your spouse.
Here’s our top 3 tips for handling in-laws!
1. Do not vent, complain, or speak disrespectfully about your spouse to your parents.
Your parents think the world of you. Chances are that if you complain about your spouse… they’ll take your side. They want the best for you and don’t want to see you hurt. And it’s likely that they won’t ever forget the weakness that you shared of your spouses. This is when you need to confide in your friends no matter how close you are to your parents.
2. Be really intentional about planning for the holidays.
Eventually you will begin establishing your own family traditions… which is incredibly important. The two of you are now your own unit, and eventually you will most likely be adding little people to the mix (fyi, this only complicates the matter). You have to do what is best for your family (and not feel bad about it). So make sure you spend time with both sides of the family as you see fit without compromising the values that you want to instill in your “new” family unit.
3. Set boundaries (as early on as possible and continually).
You are adults. Your parents have raised you to be adults with vision and courage to resolve your own marital issues. Set boundaries to ensure that folks aren’t meddling in your marriage whether intentional or not… Setting boundaries is a process, and as new chapters of life ensue, new boundaries may need to be established, but set healthy boundaries to protect your marriage from in-laws who might have a hard time letting go, who tend to meddle or have strong opinions on things that they don’t need to be a part of, or who may have different expectations of how relationships and/or households should run.